05
Oct

This is why I hate love songs, fairy tales, and the likes…

By voodoo-doll 0 Comments
Categories: my life

Here’s to the Night II

“What’s to happen now?” I asked, trying hard to mask my quivering voice. I knew what was going to happen, but I couldn’t help but ask. I wanted to hear him say it.

“She knows everything.” He said.

At this point, I felt my life crash. Tears began to flow profusely from my already puffy eyes. Next thing I know, I’m on my knees, my phone still pressed against my ear, held tightly by my cold fingers. I looked up, people were staring at me. I felt naked, vulnerable and embarrassed.

“Do I have to go?” I whimpered softly. It honestly hurt to ask, but like awhile ago, I wanted to hear his answer.

“Yes.”

Ultimately, I broke down.

—

Part of me still keeps wishing that he would change his mind and choose me. But what good would that do? Everything has been said and done, and I have nothing else to offer but my heart, while she can give him the world. Everything has been said and done. All that is left to do is to go and move on.

Honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever be “fine”. Not after this. Not after everything.

My heart was crushed, like so many times before. This is why I hate love songs, fairy tales, and the likes. I would often wish they were real, or plausible, at least. But sadly, my dreams don’t come true. They never do.

“I’m not everything” he said on the phone. I know I’m not supposed to talk to him anymore, but I wanted just a few moments with him. He owes me that, at least, just a few moments to say goodbye and to put an end to whatever. It was a bittersweet farewell. He may have been flawed, but he was everything I wanted.

This is it, I guess. Seems like only yesterday that I was in his arms, I could remember everything so vividly. It’s but a distant memory now.

To love, to lose that love… the world will keep spinning. You fall, you get up, you dust yourself and you learn… with that, you move on. Watch the sun rise again after the darkness. Live on…

26
Sep

Here’s to the Night

By voodoo-doll 0 Comments
Categories: my life

The bus came to a halt just a block away from the mall. I had to get off because the next stop would be for passenger loading only. It was a rather unpleasant day; the late afternoon rain caused the concrete sidewalk to turn into a steamer. Though I felt miserably warm and covered in sweat, I began to walk towards the place where he said he would be. The shuffling feet of the crowd silenced my thoughts. For a moment, it pleased me, the demons inside could not be heard, but ironically, I wanted to go back to my inner soliloquy. It had plagued me to the point that I could not bear to go on without it. My inner chaos, as it turns out, was my source of peace.

We’ve met several times before, in the same part of the mall near his office. But usually familiar space of the mall seemed strange this time. Then again, each time we met up felt like a new experience, it gave me a rush like no other. Just as I was getting restless from waiting, I felt something move in my pocket. I smiled for I knew what it was.

“I’m on my way.” It said on my phone.

I looked around for any sign of him. I couldn’t wait to see that face again. My eyes were glued to the mall entrance, excitedly and with such yearning, like a little girl eying a doll from a store window. From a distance I spotted him walking towards the entrance of the mall. And again, I smiled.

So denied, so I lied

Are you the now or never kind?

In a day, and a day, love

I’m gonna be gone for good again

“So, are you serious?” He asked me.

I stood there, smirking. Of course I was serious. I never felt more determined in my life, but I couldn’t answer him straight.

“You know,” I said, “you really shouldn’t ask me if I’m serious, because you know I am.”

“Yes, but…”

“But…?”

_____

“Are you fucking serious?” He asked me later again, this time with such anxiety.

“You know my answer to that.” I said, silently.

We walked around a bit, trying to get the fray in order. It was nightfall, and time was running out. Decisions have to be made soon. There may not be a next time. The mere thought ate away at my very being, and I began to lose all inhibition. I knew I couldn’t have him for long

Are you willing to be had?

Are you cool with just tonight?

“Here’s the point of no return.” He muttered. “Are you sure?”

I couldn’t answer. I think I said something, but I had forgotten. Everything felt surreal, I couldn’t hear anything nor could I even hear myself think. The service shuttle only had a few seats left. And as luck would have it, there was room at the back of the vehicle for the two of us to sit together. It was like the hand of fate made way for us.

I don’t remember much about the ride. All I could remember was his smell, the way he would lean against me, checking every minute or two if I was ok. I remember his hand holding mine, the warmth of his palm. I don’t remember much, but the things I could remember stuck to my very being. A mix of elation, nervousness, confusion, sadness gave me a natural high.

Put your name on the line

Along with place and time

Wanna stay, not to go

I wanna ditch the logical

He left me at the entrance of the village where he lived. At this point, my heart was thumping again. I checked my phone several times, just to be sure that I have enough inbox space to keep his messages coming in.

“One thing’s for sure though,” he said in a text message “we shall NEVER abort mission.”

Again, I lost all memory of what had transpired then. Perhaps this was my brain’s way of preserving important moments. Next thing I remember, I was in front of his house and there he was, waiting for me at the gate. He told me to be very quiet or else someone would hear. I’m not known to be sneaky, but when the occasion calls for it, I could be. Is this even happening? Am I really doing this? Questions kept coming in as I entered his room. As much as I was relieved, I was in disbelief. It was like a dream, but it was all so real. I kept expecting myself to wake up any moment, but it was really happening.

All my time is froze in motion

Can’t I stay an hour or two or more?

I felt happy in his arms. He hugged me, kissed me. His touch felt divine. And for the first time, we didn’t have to worry about anyone seeing us for it was just the two of us in his bedroom.

As the night progressed and everything toned down, we lay there on his bed, cuddled up under the sheets. He drifted off to sleep while I, wide eyed, tried to keep myself awake for as long as I could. I wished hard for time to stand still. I begged for the night to last longer. If there was no next time for us, if this was the one and only time we could do this, I wished for that night to never end.

I felt his breath on my shoulder, his body against mine, his warmth. I remembered the way he’d always tell me “you’re mine tonight” on the phone, but this was different, for I was really there and I was really his that night.

Don’t let me let you go

_____

It was three in the morning. The birds have not wakened to begin their choir. I had a few more minutes with him before we had to go. We marked that night as our own, a mark that etched into my soul. Perhaps it was a mistake, because I knew that I would end up asking for more, and I would ask him for things I know he couldn’t give me. But as much as it would destroy me, I’m glad we were together that night. I was tired, but I never felt more alive.

By five in the morning, we were out of his house. We had breakfast somewhere, and then he walked with me to the bus stop.

Here’s a toast

To all those who hear me all too well

Here’s to the nights we felt alive

Here’s to the tears you knew you’d cry

Here’s to goodbye

Tomorrow’s gonna come to soon

Too soon…

_____

I got back in my own bed and tried to sleep for real. I kept looking over my shoulder, hoping to see his face instead I saw only my pillow.

My thoughts kept returning to that moment when I was with him in his room. The passionate kisses, the warm embraces. I could still remember the smell of his clothes, his pillow, and his sheets. Again, I was in disbelief. This time I couldn’t believe I was back home. With the same urgency as before, I wished to go back to the moment I was in his room, in his bed, in his arms.

______

“I love you.” He said on the phone that night. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be that guy for you.” His voice quivered as he uttered those words.

I could hear him sniffing. He’d been crying as well. I was devastated, but it was true anyway. He could never really be mine. Not even if I knew him earlier in life. If things were any different, we wouldn’t have had any of this. It hurt, but I’m glad i got to spend as much time with him as I could. But of course, I have to go on with my life, and so does he.

I’m glad i had him. Even just for one day. Though sometimes I wish I had never met him at all, because now I’m afraid to let him go. I hate the fact that I could never really hate him. Because he’s the one love I’d rather lose someday, than never to have had at all.

____________________________________________________________________________

This story is “purely” fictional… Formulated to perplex the gullible. *cough*

10
Jan

Tales of the Injured Heart

By voodoo-doll 0 Comments
Categories: my life

“I don’t care about your past for you are my present. And I want you to be my future.”

 

Love is all about acceptance. It’s not about changing your partner, but you perfect one another by accepting the flaws. The past is history, as I always say. The present is what matters. You take whatever your loved one has done, and you embrace what they are now. And thus, you pave your way into the future in the arms of one another.

 

My past is all but perfect. I was young, stupid, and careless… and I still am today. But I try to make up for my mistakes. I try to learn. Though I did a lot of things that I’m not proud of today, I want to show the world that I am capable of being a good person.

 

All I need is someone who will accept me, flaws and all. I thought I found that person, but I guess I was wrong. When I told him my story, he was disgusted. I tried to tell him that I want him to be my future, but he broke my heart.

 

I want to stop crying. I want to stop feeling bad about myself. I want to stop saying “I’m sorry”, instead I want to hear “It’s ok.”

08
Aug

I Fell In Love…

By voodoo-doll 0 Comments
Categories: my life

The cries coming from the roof had become too much for me to bear. It had been five straight days of non-stop meowing and I suspect that its mother had abandoned it already.

It was a long, arduous task of getting it out of the drain pipe, but I was determined. After a couple of hours, I finally had her in my hand. She was beautiful.

I fell in love with her instantly.

The moment she started suckling on the make-shift feeding bottle I made out of a syringe, I knew she was starving. She was very thin and I guess I had really saved her from that lingering death. Though her claws dug deep on my skin, I held on to her, keeping her warm while she was feeding.

Her eyes started to open a week later. I looked into those dark pools and I saw love. She had this look that kind of says "will you be my mum?" so I decided to name her "Anak", the tagalog/filipino word for child or offspring. Each day was a milestone in her life. She began to see, learned how to walk… another week later, she could run a bit and chase me around the household. Each time I would sit on the floor she knew it was feeding time and she would run to me, scratching my crossed legs with her needle-like claws.

My sister thought it was a bad idea to keep the little kitty and she suggested that we give her away. Despite the opposition, I managed to keep her but only in the condition that I take full responsibility for her.

Everything went well for weeks, until a few days earlier when she started acting strange. Her cries were weak and she would move rather sluggishly. I watched over her, slaving in the hope that she would survive. And just when things had seemed to turn for the better…

My younger sister woke me up from my short nap around 8pm. She said that there’s something seriously wrong with my kitty.

What I saw broke my heart. She was lying in her make-shift bed, gasping. She had this blank look in her eyes and she was having seizures. I tried giving her water, then milk. She refused to drink, but I kept trying.

Finally, I gave in to the inevitable and just held her in my arms, keeping her frail body warm as she slowly faded. I couldn’t understand why it was so sudden. She was alright this morning. I thought she was going to be finally ok.

Around 9pm, Anak cried softly and then… silence.

Anak (July ??- Aug 8, 2008)

06
Jan

it’s official =:)

By voodoo-doll 0 Comments
Categories: my life

ILY Todd =:)

21
Dec

definitely hot

By voodoo-doll 0 Comments
Categories: my life

through the sweet nothings, petty arguments, and just staring blankly at the screen, waiting for what seems like an eternity… i fell in love.

sure, he’s half the world away, but every time i talk to him, it feels as if he’s right here beside me. the way we pretend to be physically together seems so real. he has that silly factor that i love. most of his interests are my interests as well. and of the things that we have opposing tastes for, we complement each other. there are about a hundred more reasons why i like him, but just trying to think about all of it has rendered me speechless.

i’m smitten…

i’m in love…

whatever term there might be for this feeling, it all boils down to the fact that i’m attached to him emotionally.

ILY Todd <3 <3 <3

15
Jul

Dirty Little Secret

By voodoo-doll 4 Comments
Categories: my life

We try to escape that wretched feeling of being alone. Sometimes, as a
desperate resort, we tend to give out ourselves more than what is morally
accepted. For some people, these are their futile attempts to connect with
others. And more than often, these efforts go unreciprocated.

The disdainful sensation that one is being sipped hollow within, though blissful
at a certain point, leaves one feeling sedated after such ordeals.

These inner demons ridicule the love-starved relentlessly. They haunt one’s
dreams… even in every waking moment, they are there.

Just south of the bustling metropolis, a lone girl sat on the cold concrete just
outside her flat. Ellie dragged deeply on her cigarette before quietly sipping
on her cup of joe. The eerie glow of the moon highlighted her rounded
yet feminine form. Every once in while, a vehicle would pass by, the headlights
making her shadow seemingly dance.

Though she was barely 21, Ellie’s face was already showing signs of aging. The
youthful twinkle in her eyes had died out. Her face, which had permanent lines
that show exactly where her skin folds every time she would frown or cry, an emotional
theatre of war.

Solitude, despite being her ultimate enemy, was Ellie’s only companion. Though she was never really physically isolated, she hungers after that certain mental and emotional connection, something that the people around her would, more than often, deprive her of.

After several hours of waiting at her doorstep, Ellie got the urge to get up. Subsequent
to heaving a sigh of resignation, she decided to get back in the comfort of her
home. The utter boredom was too much to bear, the lack of human interaction,
deafening. But something caught her attention, the headlights of a vehicle.

Garret finally arrived, with him the promise of a civilized conversation. He parked
his van in front of her before shutting down the engine.

Ellie grinned at him as a sign of greeting. He smiled back, his teeth barely peeking
through his slightly parted lips. After that ceremony of greetings, they began
to exchange stories about themselves.

At 27, he was a grown man by age. But the way he looked, moved, and the way he
talked, gave the impression of living a teenage life.

He had that boyish charm got her very much interested. There was something about
him that she found strangely attractive. His physique was neither plump nor
bony, yet after seeing his form gave her the urge to wrap her arms around him. And
though his voice was hoarse to some extent, every word that came out of his
glistening lips sounded like music. Ellie immediately fell into a swoon.

A certain je ne sais quoi, she would lovingly refer to it.

They talked for what would seem like an eternity. Ellie smiled demurely every time
he crinkled his nose as he spoke. She would listen with genuine interest as he
blabbed on and on about whatever.

After a while, he opened the door of his van then crept inside. With what seemed like a wink, Garret motioned for her to approach him.

“Come here.” Garret said. “Closer.”

Ellie looked at him, obviously confused. She squinted before she stood up and
sashayed towards him beside his parked vehicle.

In an instant, Garret took hold of her, caressing her plump body with his lovely,
masculine hands. First he rubbed his hands on her back, and then he made his
way to her buttocks. Ellie tried to look startled by his advances despite the
fact that deep inside she knew what he was up to.

“What do you think you’re doing?” She asked, trying to act distressed. Her eyebrows
wrinkled together but a smile stretched on her face.

“Shh… Trust me.”

“Not here…” Ellie said in a muted tone as she tried to wriggle free. “Someone might
see us.”

“Shh…” He hushed, reassuringly.

No longer able to continue with the masquerade, she gave in. She let his
appendages wrap around her, teasing her frame slightly.

She tried to enjoy what they were doing despite the fact that they were out in the
open. The thrill of getting caught bestowed both of them quite a rush, every
sensation, heightened.

Before she knew it, she found herself breathless, both their bodies shaking in bliss.
Her body ached for more. But this was one of those ecstatic moments that she
believed she would lament in time.

“Will I see him again after all this?” Ellie asked
herself silently.

Compared to other girls her age, she is a veteran of
broken promises. After being courted to bed with the vow of a special bond,
they would leave and never come back, as if sex, in all its raw form, was all
they were really after. Ellie wanted more from these one-time affairs.
Friendship, perhaps, or a higher form, of which is something that they were
clearly not interested in having with her. She’s still naïve in the sense that
she intentionally blinds herself to the workings of typical immature male mind.
Though she has experienced the same thing over and again, she still believes
there’s a chance that a relationship may be at hand. But it all goes back down
to the point that everyone’s just there to sip a piece of her away, and being
that she feigns innocence attracts whorish, sex-starved males.

Ellie feared the worst. The wretched feeling of being
used and then be left for dead as one. She hoped that Garret would prove
himself as different from the rest somehow.

If she couldn’t have him in the intimate sense, she would settle for just being
plain friends, acquaintances at the very least. To put it simply, she just
wanted to see him again.

–

Before Ellie could say anything, Garret began to make his way to the driver’s seat.

“I have to go.” He said, still panting.

“Oh, alright then.” She said, trying hard to bite back the urge to cry.

“Keep in touch, ok?”

As Ellie watched Garret drive away into the night, she wept silently. This may be the first and last time she would ever see him. Part of her was happy that she had him for a while, and part of her wanted to throw up in disgust.

This story is purely fictional though inspired by real-life circumstances. Names and some events have been changed to perplex the gullible.

15
Jul

The Way She Feels Inside

By voodoo-doll 1 Comment
Categories: my life

The words “move on” are rather easy to state, but to a great extent,
arduous to do. I more than often find myself drooling over some male with blind
love and passion, but sadly, not get loved back. It had progressed to the point
that I offer myself literally just so I could be close to that person. I do not
deny that I get into a state of utter euphoria after such blissful encounters,
but after that, end up being left for dead. Unrequited love is the saddest sob
story anyone could imagine. In these tragic events, no one is alone.

“I’m pregnant.” My voice trembled as I showed him my
recent pregnancy test result. “Three months”

“Are you sure it’s mine?” He ogled at a moment and
then made a face. He began to look as if he had just sucked on a tart lemon. He
squinted before glaring angrily at me.

For a moment, I was rendered speechless. I had no
idea what to say though I was a hundred percent certain that the child was
indeed his.

“Well?” he asked, raising his voice slightly. “Is it
mine?!”

I nodded before hanging my head in shame.

“What do you expect me to do now? You want money? You
want me to support you and that… kid?” he cried out but careful not to let the
people around us hear him.

“But you said…”

“What?” he interrupted. “For your information, there
was nothing between us! For all I know, that’s not even mine! You think I don’t
know exactly what kind of person you
are?! You think I don’t know that you sleep with anything that wears pants?!”
His eyes visibly fired up with anger.

“You said you loved me!” I cried as I took off.

People at the café stared at me as I left, sobbing. I
thought for a moment that he would actually take me in and be happy about his
impending fatherhood. But of course, I was wrong, as always.

I cried myself to sleep that night. Everything was a
blur. Confusion, anger, and depression took over me as I sobbed inconsolably on
my pillow. I clutched my sheets really hard, trying to rip them apart before
finally slumping on my bed in resignation. Questions zipped through my mind.
Why this? Why that? In these damaging mental debates, I was lost, like a child
gone astray in a crowd.

–

It has been half a year since that day. I would often
see him around but he would not take notice of my presence, as if intending to
do so. The child has long been gone. I had a miscarriage, which I think was due
to the stress and depression that I had been subjected to. Fate may have given
me a break. I am, neither emotionally nor financially, incapable of supporting
my would-be offspring. Maybe things were better this way after all. Seeing him
around, seemingly without a care in the world, made me sick. I had been a fool
to let him, of all the people, use me.

I knew that he had been spreading vile rumors about
me. Whenever I would bump into his friends somewhere, they would snicker and
whisper inaudibly as they stared at me with malicious eyes.

But as much as I hated his guts, I was still madly
in-love with him. Not even after expensive therapy could I ever loathe him
completely. Given the chance, I would throw myself to him in spite of what had
transpired before.

I became an incorrigible alcoholic. Though I abhorred
the bitter liquor, I needed it so desperately to help me forget my troubles.
Every night, I would pay the local pub a visit and consume several bottles
until closing time.

The bartender noticed me stumbling around the bar,
singing sad, heartbreaking songs out of tune. After closing, he offered me a
ride home.

Having arrived at my flat, I stared blankly at my
messy surroundings before looking over at the calendar on my wall.

“EDD: October 22nd.” I recited what was
scribbled in the little box. Tonight was supposedly the expected date of
delivery had my pregnancy not been aborted. My body stank of
cigarettes and liquor. I grabbed an apple and a knife from the kitchen before I
made my way to my bathroom with the blind determination to bathe. To wash away
my sins, I would so lovingly refer to it.

I kicked the bathroom door open before putting down the
apple and knife on the counter. Stepping inside, something in my peripheral
vision caught my attention. I looked over to my side to see what it was. A few
seconds lapsed before I realized that I was staring at my reflection.

“You don’t look very aesthetic…” I said, rather
dazedly.

As I gawked at the mirror, I began to cry, clutching
myself as I sobbed, smoldering with revulsion, regret, blind obsession, and
utter loneliness all at the same time.

The water, though cool, felt like acid as it kissed
my skin upon getting in the tub. With the knife, I cut the apple into several
wedges as I soaked in the water. The sweet fruit as a consolation to my
mourning, I placed the knife aside to bathe.

Rubbing my hands on my body, I vainly tried to wash
away the filth of the world. At that moment, my mind returned to the night I
slept with him.

His body writhed in unison with mine as we both
climaxed. Bathing in the afterglow of sex, he whispered in my ear the sweetest
of words.

“I love you…”

–

I awoke with a start. I looked at my hands and
realized that I had been asleep in the tub for quite a while, my wrinkly
fingertips as evidence. For some forgotten reason, I grabbed the knife, staring
at the blade with fear and wonder.

“Would it hurt?” I thought about it for a while. My
heart pounded with wildly which shook every inch of my being down to the core.

I felt a deep, blunt pain as I plunged the knife onto
my chest. Though excruciating, I managed to pull the knife out and stabbed
myself again and again. Blood and chunks of viscera gushed out of my wounds. My
body flushed itself with adrenalin and the pain seemed to go away for a while.
It gave me the strength to stab myself more before stopping and finally feeling
lightheaded.

My skin had begun to turn pale. For a minute, I found
what I had done quite amusing. I tried to smile weakly but I coughed and gagged
as fluid began to flood my lungs.

I leaned back and rested my head on the tub as I finally
closed my eyes.


This story is purely fictional though inspired by real-life circumstances. Some events have been changed to perplex the gullible.

15
Jul

The Freak in All of Us

By voodoo-doll 0 Comments
Categories: my life

“Come away with me.” He implored her as he held out his hand. “I’ll give you everything you want.”

“I already have everything I want.” She said sternly while clutching her engagement ring.


Mikhail’s eyes began to smolder with resentment. He hated his best friend for taking Rianne away from him. At the same time he hated her as well, thinking that she knew about his emotions for her and yet she chose another man to hurt him intentionally.

He awoke, several hours into their long drive to the coastline. His best friend, Chris, yawned loudly before putting his eyes back on the road.

“Want me to take over the wheel for you?” He asked the man he had known for more than two decades. “You look tired.”

“I’m fine. We’re almost there anyway.” Chris managed to say between the yawns.


Mikhail couldn’t believe that he actually felt a stab of affection for the very man that took the only girl he ever loved away from him. As much as he wanted to hit Chris, he
couldn’t. For the first time in his lives, Mikhail saw him as a human being.

The urge to sleep was no longer bearable. Mikhail closed his eyes once more. He hasn’t had a sufficient amount of rest for weeks, as if something haunted him each time he would lay in bed at night.

He held a small tin container in his arms, caressing it as if it were an infant before slipping into the void.

He was walking towards the long queue to the cashier’s window inside the college campus. Several girls, clad in tight mini skirts, walked past him catching his attention.

“Hey!” A girl called out from behind him. He turned around to see who it was. “You’re Mikhail, right?”

He made a face, ogling stupidly at her. “Uhm…” He squinted.

“We were classmates back in high school.” She grinned slightly,

“Ahh… Rianne!” The name finally rang a bell. It had been years since the last time he saw her. The last encounter had not been very nice; they were engaged in a fistfight because of some forgotten reason.

“You look…” Mikhail almost said cute but decided against it. “Different.”

“I’m a mutant.” She said, shyly. “So, uhm… What brings you here?”

“Same reason as everyone else’s.” He held out his registration form.

She giggled, high-pitched and child like. It was odd that her voice seemed soft and sophisticated. But then, everything about her was a contradiction. Though she was the embodiment of everything feminine, seemingly mild-mannered, she was the only girl he knew who challenged him to a battle of brawns.

He saw little of her for several years. Throughout college, he’d met and fell in love with scores of girls. Each time he thought he’d found the “one”, but each time it ended in heartache. His thoughts would return to Rianne whenever he broke his heart, infatuated with her despite the fact that Chris, who had been her classmate in some subjects, had begun courting her.

“Mikhail, wake up, buddy!” Chris said, trying to wake him up. “Let’s eat first. I’m starving, man!”

He laid down the small container on the seat. After getting out of the car, he aimed for the restroom to relieve himself as Chris looked for a table inside the small restaurant.

“You need a shave” Mikhail whispered to himself, standing in front of a mirror.
“Unaesthetic”, he said, as Rianne would refer to it. He gawked at his reflection for a moment. Unwillingly, his thoughts returned to her. Damn you, Rianne.

She fell in love with Chris after two years of courtship. And her affections were reciprocated. Each time they were together, Chris would seem to take notice of the world around him, he seemed more alive than he ever was.

One fateful night, just before the wedding day, Mikhail paid her a visit when Chris was away on business. It was around 2 am, Rianne stood outside her flat, clad only in her sheer nightgown. Mikhail asked her to leave his best friend for him, but she
pushed him away. He burned with envy and hatred. He wanted her more than
anything, but his love was unrequited. Rianne thrashed as he held her in his
arms, kissing her forcibly. Her lips, her skin, tasted even sweeter as she
tried to fight him off. Getting one arm free of his grip, she slapped him hard
across the face.

“Leave!” She screamed. Her eyes enlarged with disgust at the man before her. The way she looked at him made him feel like a freak.

He knew that she would definitely tell someone about what he did. Thinking fast, he punched her on the belly, knocking her on the ground. As Rianne squirmed in pain, he knelt down hit her hard at the back of her head, knocking her out cold.

Mikhail carried her unconscious body to her room. He looked
around for something to restrain her before ripping bed sheets into ropes. He
tied her arms and legs to the bed posts. He crumpled some pieces of fabric and
stuffed it into her mouth, securing it with a strip of cloth which he wound
around her head.

He felt her body tense up. Upon waking up, Rianne flailed but she was helpless. Mikhail ripped off her flimsy nightie with his strong hands. She lay still as he took in her naked form.

“I’m going to make you mine.” He whispered softly in her ear. “Whether you like it or not, you will be mine.” He straddled on top of her.

Rianne tried to scream as Mikhail caressed her skin with his fingers, but the gag
muffled her cries. He teased her body, and was pleased when he saw the
glistening evidence that she was getting aroused. He got up and began to take
off his clothes. His genitalia throbbed with anticipation. Getting on the bed,
he undid the restraints on her legs. Rianne seized the chance and began to
thrash about once more before Mikhail punched her yet again.

Tears welled from Rianne’s eyes, as Mikhail positioned himself.

“My, my, my…” Mikhail chuckled at his astounding discovery. “You’re a
virgin?” He suddenly plunged himself inside her. What excited him even more was Rianne’s thrashing and screams of pain as he embedded himself deeper. She bucked as she refused to surrender.

Without stopping his in and out movements inside her, he took her as deeply as he possibly could. A few moments later, he felt the click within her body as she gave in completely. Rianne’s body bowed upwards and shook violently as her first orgasm with him possessed her. At the same time, he felt the urge to explode his seed inside her. Mikhail pounded her even harder until he reached a mind-blowing climax.

Mikhail let his shriveled manhood slip out. Without a moment’s hesitation, he wrapped his hands around her neck and began to tighten his grip. Her eyes widened in terror as he cut off her airway. This time, he did not intend to just render her unconscious. He continued to strangle her minutes after her body went limp, and soon, Rianne was dead.

Horrified yet blissful about his deed, he left. He did not even make an effort to cover or
hide her body. No, he wanted Chris to see her naked and besmirched corpse, but still careful not to leave evidence that would point to him.

–

He came out of the lavatory and found that Chris had already ordered some food. After a meal that tasted like rhubarb, they resumed their journey, reaching their destination just a couple of hours later.

Chris parked the vehicle just a few feet from the barrier. The two men got
out and walked towards the edge. In front of them was a ravine, its depths
ending in huge boulders that were being perpetually mauled by strong waves.

Mikhail took out the small tin container but before he got the urge to hand it to Chris, he broke down on the ground and cried. He told his best friend everything he did to Rianne, his reasons and motives behind the heinous crime. Chris was left slack-jawed, not knowing what to do or say, he stood there silently with eyes wide and moist. Rianne’s murderer had been beside him all this time, the very man he vowed to kill if he were given the chance. But all he could do was weep in shock and disgust.

Mikhail apologized before getting on his feet. With Rianne’s ashes still at hand, he jumped over the balustrade, plunging to certain death.

The names and events that had transpired in these pages are purely fictional. The author of this story is undoubtedly a sick and demented person.

14
Apr

Bring Back the Sun

By voodoo-doll 0 Comments
Categories: my life

What’s really flustering is the fact that I am always left hanging. I don’t deny myself of the fact that people come and go. But what I am so peeved about is that they could at least endow me with a parting message before they vanish.

Was it something I said? Have I done something wrong? Did I lack something, perhaps?

These unnerving questions zip through my mind whenever it happens. All I have left of them are reminiscences of moments spent together. I just need to know… was it me?

They are those whom I have indisputably loved. I don’t know what exactly went wrong in our relationship. It’s difficult to move on without knowing what caused them to leave, thus, I am oblivious of how I could improve myself. It’s not a case of obsession. It’s madness.

I’m not saying that I still want to go back to my past commitments. As far as I’m concerned, I no longer care who they’re with right now or what they’re upto.

_______________________________________________

For those whom I have shared my life with for a while:
Junaid, Darwin, Roy, Bryan, Allen, Mikki, and all those other guys who decided to leave me without as much as a goodbye… thanks for the smiles and laughs, the long walks, and for turning my life into shit.

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